Prepare to have your ears gently caressed
And then sodomized

You're my favorite pizza in a million different ways
When the pepperonis glisten in a greasy, glossy glaze
And I've been trying to hard to find a way
To cut you into pieces and put you on a tray, yeah

Girl, you're my favorite pizza
You taste better when you're dead
Girl, you're my favorite pizza
You keep me so well fed
Covered in that red sauce that looks so much like blood
But it's that kind of taste; the flavor of love

You're my favorite pizza, I'll never change my mind
The way the crust settles down is something so divine
And I've been trying hard, and taking all my time
To make that sweet sparkling grease, I'd wring out from your spine, oh

Girl, you're my favorite pizza
You taste better when you're dead
Girl, you're my favorite pizza
You keep me so well fed
Covered in that red sauce that looks so much like blood
But it's that kind of taste; the flavor of love

Brad: Now I know, a lot of you people are thinkin', "Brad, what the fuck is wrong with you?", and to that I say fuck you. Fuck you for listening to this if you are not a cannibal, because the point of the song is to be romantic and cannibalistic, okay? You gotta eat, but you also gotta love., okay? So what I'm sayin' is grab a knife, grab a cleaver, stab, chop, decapitate, I don't give a fuck. Do your thing, chop the fuck out of your wife, your brother, your sister, everybody that you love, and then make 'em into a pizza. It's easy. It's simple! Come on.

Rylie: That's fucked up, Brad.

Brad: That's not fucked up--

David: That's fucked up!

Brad: This is a song about love, and if you guys can't fuckin' understand it, you can leave. You can get the fuck out. Okay? Because, this is--

Rylie: I think you should get the fuck out of my house, Brad.

Brad: Fuck, ff--, shit, just fuck, leave! Go! I'm sick of it!

David: No, you get the fuck out!

Brad: Fuck you, fuck all you, I'm done, fuck this.

David: Fuck you, Brad!

Austin: Get the hell out of here! Bitch!